In the Sporting Spirit Lets Play Golf!

I am back from Scotland complete with midge bites and one strip of spectacular sunburn down one leg. It has actually gone a little purple. I kid you not.

During my week in the caravan, I followed Team GB’s victories and am now all excited about sport. Well at least for now. I am trying to get tickets for the Paralympics; I am almost definitely going to visit the Herne Hill Velodrome (where Bradley Wiggins started out); and I am going to miniature golf tomorrow.

I was excited about mini gold because you have the competitive element and certain skills are required to get that tiny ball through the rotating windmill. Additional excitement came from the fact I was supposed to be playing on Selfridges’ roof. However because it is so damn popular - you may have heard of it already - it has already sold out for tomorrow. I am now going to a course in Gunnersbury. I don’t know where Gunnersbury is. And its called Gunnersbury.

Anyway, back to Selfridges for a moment. They have built a marvellous looking Tea and Miniature Golf area on their roof to celebrate a particular type of British eccentricity. From what I can make out from an introductory video you play 9 holes of golf around obstacles shaped like London Landmarks, which are made to look like cakes or sweets. For example, there are several platters of mini-St. Pauls jellies that you have to weave your ball through. Hmm jelly cathedrals.

The course is open from 12-10pm each day until 2nd September and tickets can be bought in advance from here. If you are a more free and easy type of guy/gal you can rock up and wait in line to play your round. It costs £6 per person which is not uber cheap for such an activity, but I mention it here because its uniqueness and I think you would get the added bonus of a nice view. I am all about the nice views.

Of course, a Golf and Tea Party is nothing without tea. I had a look at the menu that the golf and I would say take your pennies elsewhere. Afternoon Tea for 1 is £17.95, which is standard is fancy hotels, but lets be honest you are on top of a department store. No thanks. A pot of tea for 1 is £2.95(eek!) and a brownie £5.95 (just no). So I would take a thermos with you or better yet play later in the afternoon, then go to the foodhall for reduced food items. I'm not sure about everyone down there but I know the sushi place does some great deals. Granted, sushi is not very British, but eat it with your tea and you’ll be laughing. That counts as fusion right?

Oh also at the time of writing Golf is still not an Olympic sport. However with table tennis as a proper event, it can only be a matter of time before miniature golf gets in there. So, until then, I shall keep practising my swing and the art of avoiding rotating windmills. Yes I shall.

Picture taken from here.

Olympic Embrace

After months of bitching about transport issues, sponsors, tickets, missiles on roofs I have been converted to an Olympic way of thinking. I am a flag waving, sport watching enthusiast who air punched every time we get another medal.

I can't be sure when the shift occurred, but I think it was sometime between the Kennth Branagh's speech from The Tempest and Voldemort during the opening ceremony. Or maybe it was when that *insert the worst expletives you can think of here* Mitt Romney said that he didn't think London was ready for the Olympics. Oh we're ready Mitt. Ready to punch you in the face.

Either way, my cynicism dissolved and I am now watching things like show-jumping and swimming. I have no idea what I am watching, but I know I like it.

I am still angry about how much tickets cost, but one of the things the Olympic organisers seemed to get right was the amount of FREE stuff they have put on this year as part of the while London 2012 festival.

If you go to the London 2012 website you can get the low-down on all free and paying events.

There are quite a few good exhibitions including the Road to 2012 at the National Portrait Gallery. This shows some wonderful portraits of our UK athletes, but also those who contributed to the making of the Games.

Most teams have taken over various buildings around the city. The weirdest possibly being the Germans in the Museum of London Docklands restaurant. Apparently you can go along for £10, but having worked at there as a waitress for one dark month, I would advise against it.

However, the Brazilians have taken over Somerset House aka Casa Brasil for the duration and are hosting exhibitions and a Rio 2016 shop (of course). There is also samba and live music every evening until this Sunday 5th August. I think the old-school grandeur of Somerset House is a slightly odd setting for Brazil, but hey it should be fun.

I know loads of venues are doing something for the Games, even if it is just having a TV showing them constantly and a few Union Jacks. The Book Club in Shoreditch has created a, "Basecamp", with a few sporting events of its own including beer pong and basketball and croquet. Of course this is accompanied by screens, food vans and a bar.

This weekend's Brixton Splash (a community street festival featuring live music and dancing) on Sunday is going to be a pretty special affair because it coincides with Usain Bolt running in the 100m men's final. I think it is safe to say there will be a few parties going on until the wee hours on Sunday night.

I urge you to go out and take advantage because after all my whining I zipping north for a week and will miss everything. There are few chances when any of us will be in an Olympic city again, and I know that sounds dramatic, but it’s true. So go and embrace the Olympic spirit. In a month's time we can all be bitter and cynical together again.

Go Team GB!


P.S.

Oh now I remember when I got into the spirit! It was when Mitt Romney offended the entire country, Boris came to our defence and then a few days later did this. Mayor Johnson sir, we salute you.